Yup, I'm one of the very rare people allergic to Cymbalta. And here it was actually doing me a lot of good with my neuropathy (which is the main reason why I was taking it) and even a little bit with the stress.
So now I have to stop it, work it out of my system, watch the ulcers in my mouth and if they go away in a week or ten days, it definitely WAS the drug.
And suffer with the neuropathy and adrenaline issues again...
I have something painful happening in the inside left cheek of my mouth which is making my lips numb and the left side of my face slightly swelled. My lips feel like they're waking up from the dentist. Originally I thought I was grinding my teeth but it doesn't look like that - like mouth ulcers and a rash. I've been wearing my bite guard since Friday evening and every time I think I'm getting a little better, I start hurting again.
Naturally, one of the very RARE allergic reactions to Cymbalta has to do with swelling on the face, tongue and/or throat.
I have a call in to the neuro assistant so hopefully I will hear from them Monday and maybe get worked in or advised or something to help me with this. It hurts and burns so I've been using salt inside my mouth, which stings initially but then makes it feel better for a little while.
After a really long cry this morning, I ate a bit of breakfast, held on to rat, said a little prayer out-loud, and swallowed my first Cymbalta.
I know some of you think I'm being a little too dramatic, but the Prednisone scared me so much and the potential side effects of Cymbalta scare me even more.
I'm now walking an unknown path. Those of you who know me locally/personally, I humbly ask you to watch for any adverse signs that may indicate problems. Do not hesitate to call me or rat with your concerns.
Thank you all for your prayers, positive thoughts and helpful suggestions. You are all treasures.
First of all, thank you, lawless, for our talk last night and richila, for our talk tonight.
health update
Neurologist will probably not be fired at this time because she acted like she really did care about my well-being.
Neuro said I'm actually doing better with the neuropathy - she thinks it's related to folic acid deficiency - and the fact I'm going through cycles of feeling numbness then feeling pain is a good thing - I'm getting better. The blood work showed I DON'T have Sjogen's and lots of things looked good, which is good.
However...
... I'm at the edge and about go over it because of adrenaline/anxiety, something three different doctors have now said to me.
So...
... Cymbala is next. It's either trying that or just getting worse. And it's REALLY bad right now. I never know when seeing something on TV or hearing a song on the radio will make my adrenaline spike and shoot needles down my legs. I never know when I'm going to break into tears because I'm so frustrated with my health.
I start 20mg tomorrow and I asked to stay on that dose for a while in case I get bad side effects, which scare me to death. I don't want to bump up to a higher dose because the taper side effects fucking scare me.
The neuro agreed.
I'm temporarily going off the natural stuff because the neuro doesn't know how it will react to the Cymbalta. I was already going to go off the sleeping stuff because last night it made me dizzy and my heart was racing even while I was relaxed.
I just hope this doesn't affect work - it's HELL this week - full of stress to get a bunch of work done while all these other deadlines are slamming everyone around. The neuro suggested I take off some days while my system acclimates but I don't have that luxury.
Please pray that I don't have any problems with this - I am desperate to get better and natural methods are not enough anymore. My system is only going to respond to a swift kick in the adrenal gland to get better now.
I saw the chiropractor today. He spent TWO HOURS with me. Well, he put me in a different device then attended to someone, but came back to put me in another. He looked over all my documentation, showed me the FOUR bulging discs in my lower back using the MRI I brought with me, explained lots of things on how a lot of what I've been suffering through is ALL RELATED, showed me exercises to do, gave me supplements, and popped me in many places, including my toes and basically made me feel like I just might have a chance to feel better physically, mentally and emotionally.
I hope his supplement recommendations (came away with four bottles) will eventually help get me back to semi-normal.
My nerves really are fried from the neuropathy but he got my right foot to wake up with some traction (a type where you sit UP and the two sections push your top and bottom in opposite directions) and some kind of electrical thing on my lower back and neck that was supposed to stimulate my muscles. Couldn't feel much while it was happening because I was half-numb but parts of me woke up afterward. Did a neck stretchy thingie that was inflatable. He showed me three ways to do an exercise for my back to get my bulging discs somewhat under control. I should have tried the 'easy way' to do it while I was in the office because I can't seem to get the right angle here at home as rat saw it from his angle when the doc did it. The 'hard way' is definitely harder and I have to do the position for 30 minutes at a time. Got another exercise for my hands, which he says really don't have carpel tunnel syndrome (same thing the neurologist said), which means I've had neuropathy since the 1980s.
I have B complex 100 to take twice a day. I know my neurologist will NOT be happy with this. Chiro says you can tell when you're getting enough B12 from supplements when your pee is an effervescent colour, which means your body is dumping what it's not using. If you don't see the colour, then you don't have enough B12.
He's also given me some Rhodiola Rosea for stress/anxiety/adrenalin calming, as well as well-being and my fatique syndrome.
While I don't have a thyroid anymore, he thinks I'm not getting everything I need to normalize me (which explains my exhaustion and lots of other symptoms) so I have a supplement for that, dealing with thyroid, pituitary, etc. I suspect my GP will not be happy with this so I'll need to make sure he knows I'm taking it when I have my next blood test.
AND one to help me sleep so I can start to heal the way our bodies are designed to heal. It has valerin, magnesium and passion flower. Our friends who recommended the chiro says it works very well for sleeping.
The chiro told me that while being informed is good, because of my stress issues I am now to ask rat to look things up I have questions about so I don't start speculating on what's wrong with me and stress myself more. Because we live so far away, he gave us special permission to email him with any questions/ideas and he'll answer back. He considers us special - isn't that wonderful? It's because he knows my folks and rat already and that includes our family friends we've known for years.
Yep, my neuropathy has gotten worse again so I can't feel a lot of my lower half. I have no idea what happened between yesterday and today to make it bad again, but I thought my disc was getting better. Now I'm afraid it's NOT disc-related and I'll be stuck with dealing with this all the time even with a good back.
rat's car overheated on the way to the chiropractor and we have a cracked radiator and I've cried twice today due to all this crap.
My mother's husband is driving us to the chiropractor tomorrow - have to leave here at 7:30am to get there by 9am.
I thought I was getting better because I was in so much pain in my lower back. Well, this morning when I woke up from a good night's sleep with dreams from almost every cycle of sleep and using lavender to relax me into the next cycle, the shooting pain in my lower has disappeared to the point of a masked dullness again and my legs are worse, which means the neuropathy is flaring on me and making me numb again, right before the chiropractor visit.
This is a real blow to my feelings that I was on the road to recovery and that my disc was really the problem.
After being rescheduled due to missing blood work (the neurologist's fault, though they'll deny it) I got a call yesterday to reschedule AGAIN for next Tuesday because she wouldn't be in on the rescheduled date.
No, I STILL don't know the results of all my testing. After this appointment, and seeing how she handles herself and listens to me, there's a chance I'll be shopping for a new neurologist.
I'm actually better physically, in spite of her. My rheumatologist was right - when the disc started getting better, the numbness has started to get better.
Naturally, I'm anxious about meeting the chiropractor on Friday. I want to get ALL the past info lined up for him, with dates and what happened, ALL the meds/supplements I'm taking, all my health problems, all THEIR paperwork, body maps sketching out all the places I have trouble, what kind of pain I feel and documenting by date when I felt them. rat finally had to 'talk me down' because I had a gripping feeling in my chest I knew was just stress/adrenaline/anxiety.
I'm now using lavender oil to calm myself down - seems I'm worse than I thought when it comes to anxiety/stress/adrenaline rushes. It presses my temples and crawls across my head and makes my chest clench. I do deep breathing, too. Pisses me off, since it's probably something ELSE I'll have to deal with for the rest of my life and I really want to deal with it without prescription drugs if possible. Though if I can find something that will kick my adrenaline back in-line and turned off/calmed down until it can be reasonable again, then I'd probably be willing to take drugs for a short period of time. Honestly, I want the stuff hovering over my head (and crawling across my skull) to be resolved.
We still haven't unpacked yet. While I'm now OUT of actively shopping for a house, rat is doing it and there's a slim chance something wonderful will land out there for us to purchase before the April 30th deadline. That keeps me from doing any unpacking or bringing my dolls home.
The idea of unpacking is daunting, too, especially since my physical health is so bad at the moment.
I look at the boxes and realize I could probably get rid of a LOT more and be fine with it - but not really. Like our LPs. Some are irreplaceable since no CDs have been made of them.
I need to reorganize a lot of stuff and try to SELL some things instead of just dumping them at Goodwill or Halfprice Books or trash.
Okay, another whiff of lavender oil and back to work.
I lived on an adrenaline high for probably over a month, maybe two, due to the stress of the move, smoke, etc.
Now I can't get it to turn OFF and let me sleep to recuperate. The rheumo put me on calming food, which I didn't realize until I started researching. I thought it was just a grazing diet to get me eating normally again. Now that I know that, I'll start nibbling again when I start feeling stressed.
My brain will not shut down to sleep at night unless I have Xanax. The Simply Sleep doesn't cut it. However, I'm unable to stay asleep all night, even with talk radio quietly in the background. I wake up between 4 and 5 am and usually can't go back to sleep. I don't dare take another Xanax because I need to wake up no later than 6:30am to get to work. When I get up and move to my nest in front of the TV, I start yawning and know I could go back to sleep for up to an hour with the Weather Channel or the Food Network in the background. I do it on the weekends. I may have to move to the TV room at 5am to get the rest of my sleep, but I'm concerned it will become a habit. My mother sleeps in a lounge chair all the time now. I don't want to be like that.
I'm going to try a couple of almonds when I wake up now, since they seem to calm me almost immediately. I'm going to try a tiny taste of my prescription cough syrup, too. I did that last night with the Xanax and when I woke up at 3am to pee I was so groggy I went right back to sleep.
I want to get back to normal.
I know part of my anxiety this week has to do with seeing the neurologist and the new chiropractor. I'm getting better in spite of my neurologist. I want the chiropractor to help get the disc back to where it needs to be so the numbness is at a minimum, my tailbone stops hurting and I can feel my privates again.
At 3:45pm today the neurologist's assistant called and said they didn't have all the blood work so the lab was going to call me about getting them done again.
This started the mad scramble for me to contact the lab about the test, contact the assistant with the fax number, contact the lab again about getting there and finally having to dash out of work to get to the place before it closed at 5pm.
When I got to the lab the tech was on the phone explaining to his boss about the problem and got me in immediately. I was ready to start yelling, not at him but because of the fact the neuro office hadn't contacted me until right before I was supposed to go in on Monday!
He had photocopy proof he had not been able to read the script and the new script that was VERY legible. By now I'm crying hard and telling him how much worse I was. My tech guy told me he wasn't going to charge me because I wasn't at fault and that he'd done the best he could reading the script AND he had even called the neuro assistant (I remember him doing it!) to get clarification.
He told me to come see only him whenever I come in - he's SUCH a sweetheart! - and he and another tech (who taught me how to give myself B12 shots) have been praying for me.
So I left a message with the neuro asst, asking if I should even go in on Monday. She called back quickly and I told her the results would be available Thursday morning, afternoon at the latest and that I could come in Friday. Friday was not an option so we're going to try for Thursday at 1pm, if the results get in.
You all realize that I've been quietly waiting TWO WEEKS to get to the Monday appt and now it's been bumped? I asked why I had not been called since the test had been there for a week and the neuro asst said she had just looked at it and saw the missing tests. By then I was a bit hysterical and explained how I had NOT called them and kept quiet and not disturbed them, knowing I'd be getting answers on Monday.
When I told rat about this, he said it was time to fire the neurologist. But first we'll see what she has to say.
Honestly, I have a lot of hopes pinned on the chiropractor now...
Later:
Watched a show tonight and an exciting part caused rushing to go down my legs. DAMN! I'm having adrenaline rushes that affect the neuropathy. FUCK!
I really don't want to take meds to calm this down. What I've read is that I need SLEEP to recuperate from adrenaline rushes. I may need to take some more Xanax throughout the day this weekend to keep me knocked out, but I really don't want to. I want to try and SLEEP this weekend. I didn't sleep or eat much for two months and now I'm paying the price in many, many ways.
Today I went half-numb on parts of my upper half of my body - back, chest, face. Naturally, I started stressing about it - just another thing hitting me.
After feeling bad for hours, even drifting off during the first anime episode shown during anime club to escape feeling so bad (too bad - today's theme was moe), I had to take some papers over to the academic office and so some work there, still feeling bad.
After I left there to head back to the office, I had a little God chat and considered crying since it made me feel so much better yesterday. So I tried to cry and was able to get a few sobs out as I was walking across campus in the sun. And as I stopped crying before getting into the building, got back to my office and ate a few strawberries... the tingling slacked off.
I guess it's partly stress/anxiety causing it. Maybe food, too.
Fetched a copy of my MRI (driving in a strong thunderstorm with hail) and made an appt with the chiropractor in Midlothian, over an hour drive away. Will go Spring Break Friday when I'm off, for an afternoon meet and greet appt. Thankfully, rat is driving me.
So I'm stressing about getting ALL my information together - past history, recent past history, drug list, current history, concerns, his paperwork (he provides it online!) and everything else. So it stresses me, which is bad.
I HATE how stress affects me so easily now!
I know I'm putting a lot of faith in Dr. Hank, but it's getting me through it. It's also causing anxiety - I'm feeling a little desperate at the moment. I really believe this is all back-centered and if he can get my disc to get back into place and calmed down, then I'll start getting better.
And maybe he can give me suggestions for relieving stress with pressure points, etc.
Actually, I'm already getting a little better. I'm feeling PAIN instead of numbness/tingling in some parts of my body. But other parts above the waist are starting to become numb, grr.
I took only half of a Xanax last night and kept waking up every few hours instead of sleeping all the way through. But I was able to get back to sleep, which is good. I only dream the last hour or so of sleeping, though. Still consistently waking up at 5am and only getting back to sleep half of the time.
Monday is the big neurologist meeting, where I'll know all the rest of the test results. I'm dreading that a bit - yay; more anxiety and stress!
I WANT MY IMAGINATION BACK! I am incapable of doing anything creative in my mind.
I think I'm getting better then tingling go down my legs or another spot goes tingling in my back or shooting tingles go down my legs or across my groin. Now I'm finding new spots on my back, on the back of my arms and tops of my hands.
I'm so tired of this...
A family friend has pointed me toward his chiropractor, who has helped him and for the first time I will go to this one. He's an hour away and doesn't do insurance but only charges $40 per visit. And he does natural things and knows about Vitamin D and used to do acupuncture so I think this is my guy. My friend says the guy can just look at you and know what's off, then touch you in the exact problem area.
I need to either find my MRI disc here (DAMN that move!) or see if I can get a copy from the orthopedic guy. I also need to see what my neurologist has to say next Monday before seeing this guy.
Saw my mother Sat and wrote her a note for the doctors when she goes in for her day surgery on Tuesday. She is so afraid they will hurt her unintentionally when they move her to the operating table due to her pins and lack of ability to move parts (she's let her replaced shoulder freeze up, too after hurting her back.) She's getting this procedure to relieve the fractures in her spine and will be BETTER and in less pain.
I wish I could have a non-invasive procedure to cure mine.
Last night after visiting friends for a birthday I thought I was getting better because my leg went really tingly and slightly painful like it does when your leg starts 'awaking up' after being numb.
So such luck.
I am so discouraged at the moment. I'm feeling better due to the grazing on protein diet (though I'm already tired of having to eat all the time when I start feeling bad) but I want whatever is making my nervous system go haywire to get better (rheumo thinks it's a disk but the neuro hasn't investigated it yet) so this will all go away and I can get my life AND BODY back.
I want to be able to eat at normal times and not have to baby my system with 'treats' to keep my stomach from growling after an hour or the weird sensation that goes across my head from happening, or the illness and dizziness I feel if I have to do a fasting blood test.
I'm tired of yawning ten to twenty minutes after eating.
I want to be able to scratch my leg and not have that action sent shooting tingles down the rest of my leg and across my groin. I want my groin back, for 'those' reasons. That scares me the most.
I still wake up at 5-5:30am no matter how many hours of sleep I've had and most of the time I can't get back to sleep. My head won't stop buzzing then, either.
And my imagination is still pretty much lost.
I'm tired of being thirsty all the time.
I pray all the time.
I pray for my health to return, for my doctors to find a way to help me in a semi-permanent way to relieve the pressure of the supposed bulging disc (that's the rheumo thinks) so this will STOP and my nerves get better, for my appetite to come back to normal, for so many things.
And I pray for all of YOU, my friends, knowing that some of you don't believe the same as me, so I ask that my prayers get to you through your own deity(s).
Good news on my blood work - no diabetes but elevated thyroid and I have the new script. I've been at this lower level before. Within a year or two I'll be back up to the slightly higher level.
The all-day lemon water and protein nibble has WORKED! I went to work this morning, went out with some of my office-mates for lunch at a Tai restaurant where I ate my typically normal amount of food (I eat half with leftovers, but I didn't take the leftovers this time because...), went to an art museum (had to sit down after a while because I was too hot [too many layers I couldn't take off] and tired but still functioned), had 'dessert' at another place (I had a cup of soup) and made it home just a little tired - actually, my usual tired. AND the only parts of my body that were annoying was my right foot and back of right shoulder and there were times I didn't even notice.
The lemon water definitely helps give me more saliva. I'm not choking as much.
I just take a small bite of string cheese, meat (microsliced roasted beef) or two or three mixed nuts, or suck on a Lifesaver (yes, she told me hard candy) whenever I feel the need (sometimes as little as five minutes, up to twenty if after a meal) and things keep level for me without the sugar spikes and drops.
So let's just hope this keeps up and I can quickly get back to a normal eating schedule and not feel hungry in my growling stomach every few minutes or woozy after twenty or so minutes. I'm already tired of eating all day - lugging the food and water around is a pain - literally, it's heavy on my broken body!
She didn't tell me when I should taper off on this so I'll call sometime next week for direction. I suspect it will be when I begin not feeling a little woozy shortly after eating. Let's just hope.
Thank you for all your prayers and good wishes. I still need them because I'm still very sick, but I cross my fingers that the light at the end of the tunnel will show up soon and I will be better.
Naturally, I will be living with numbness in various parts of my body for the rest of my life and while it might go away to a degree, it could flare up worse at any time, and I'm still worried about the nether parts reacting in a bad way if they're used, but I will think positively that I'll get back ALL the joys in my life.
I'm drinking herbal tea - doctor's orders. My anxiety is still raising its head and I have diabetic-like symptoms (blood work results from the GP tomorrow) but my rheumo firmly told me to calm down because I may land in a crazy house if I don't.
She thinks it's anxiety and I WILL become diabetic if I don't get off this flight-or-fight adrenaline rush. I'm also supposed to graze on protein, nuts and cheese throughout the day and pull back on the sugar-spiking fruits (I feel really better after some orange) to try to get my eating back on-track.
Not dead yet, though I feel like it sometimes. Tuesday was REALLY bad.
I've seen a doctor or done blood work everyday this week.
Hands are being bothersome and I really don't feel well. Work takes it out of me. When I get home at night and lie down my legs go all 'nervy-shooting-pain' on me. I have to take a Xanax every night to calm down, turn off my spinning brain and sleep.
My back doesn't hurt, but it's because it's not feeling anything. Other parts being like this concern me.
I'm on daily B12 shots for a week (then once a week, then once a month for life) and folic acid. Still don't know the rest of the test results besides the fact I DO have neuropathy and I'm pretty much fucked-up.
Due to symptoms I've noticed from the onset back in December/January but no doctor listened to me AND experiencing ups and downs while trying to eat throughout the day, I went to my main doc today with my symptom list and asked for a diabetes test, even though my glucose count looks okay. He ordered one that's not a glucose tolerance one but made me each then test after two hours and I did that today.
I start 'diving' after about two hours. I get hunger pangs within an hour after choking down food. I'm thirsty ALL THE TIME.
Test results on Friday.
See rhemo tomorrow evening after a full day at a conference, including GIVING a presentation. Have to keep her in the loop and ask about another prescription for Xanax to have on-hand since it works.
Went out tonight and got diabetic-approved fruit to carry with me tomorrow - oranges and strawberries. I have to prep and pack some fruit tonight.
Also looking at recipes, even though me trying to stand up that long to cook is going to be a problem.
Talked to a nutritionist today and told her what was going on, including moving history, what I don't eat. I don't eat bread or sweets, mostly veg, fruits and meat. The idea that I may have to choke down so much complex carbs a day to keep my blood sugar regulated makes me cringe. Insurance won't pay if I'm only pre-diabetic. Consultation is $70.
Need to make a health note here- the weird pressure on my temples was really bad last night when I tried to sleep and I had to prop myself up high on the pillow to help with the weird-almost-dizzy sensation I was feeling.
I took the folic acid pill and a Simply Sleep and my head stopped spinning. Hope it doesn't mess with the blood work.
I only slept about an hour, on and off last night.
Got B12 shots to administer, folic acid pills and need to get to the GP ASAP to do something about the thyroid.
Also have a lot more blood work to do.
Also still waiting for the biopsy to get back so we have a more complete picture.
Also HAVE to eat three meals a day, something I haven’t been going. It’s difficult to eat at ALL but today I forced myself to eat three meals. I need natural nutrients, not supplements, if possible.
I didn't sign up for short-term or long-term disability with my insurance way back when I was healthy (and rat made good money) and I can't do it until July AND I'll have to show proof of pre-existing conditions.
My stress level WAS under control despite the pain, but now it's not.
The neuro called this morning - the lab can't find my tests.
I'm at work. Need to get back to it and do some stress relief tapping.
NOTE TO YOU HEALTHY PEOPLE - if your work insurance offers short/long-term disability, TAKE IT.
Thanks: --> to Lia, my sensei, who has inspired me to draw again. I
wouldn't be doing this without your support, Domo Arigato!
--> to Talon, for sending me her fabulous fics, inspiring me with her writing to draw my first
illustration for a story and actually liking what I drew.
--> to Dasia, for her words of encouragement when drawing her original chara.
--> to Joules, a wonderful epic fic writer, for liking my art enough to want to post them with Talon's
and her own stories.
--> to Lutra, the other half of the epic team, for being so supportive.
--> to Jacque' & Becca Raddittzu, we met on eBay as bidder and sellers and now we are face-to-face
friends. You showed us the real DBZ with your fansubs. It's all your fault the house is full of
doujinshi! *LOL*
:: welcome to bakayaro onna's mindless ramblings, rants & raves :: 
